I asked my patients why they’re able to keep going through hard things. As I expected, some of their answers reflected their personal strengths. But what surprised me was how many of their answers were about their values: “Because I want to keep enjoying my life,” or “Because I want to keep walking on my own two feet.” I was reminded that values matter—from beginning to end.
One of my clients, a survivor of domestic violence, used to be a Zumba instructor but had stopped teaching for years due to family issues. During our first session, she was deeply depressed. But when I asked her to think of one thing that could change her mood, her eyes lit up. She said, “Singing.”
I asked her to sing to me at the beginning of our next session—and she did.
By the third session, she was walking in the park. I encouraged her to sing as if she were spreading her love to everyone around her. She did, and I found myself in tears, watching her finally taste freedom after so much suffering.
Six months later, she wrote to me. She’s now a teacher at a daycare center and a part-time Zumba instructor. She’s happy with herself.
What I learned from her journey is this: start with a deeply rooted passion. It may not come with confidence at first, but it always brings a spark of excitement. Let that be the starting point. Keep the flow going, and the confidence will return. To me, that journey is called “perseverance.”
I'm posting today (Saturday) about a conversation I had with a client yesterday.
This client has been working for over 2 months to build a consistent water-drinking habit. She’s tried everything:
– A wide variety of racking apps
– Weekly calendars to note ounces consumed
– Colorful water bottles to catch her attention
– Multiple phone alarms
– Strategically placing 12 oz. bottles of water around her house
One of the apps even had her caring for a virtual plant—she had to check in and “water” it throughout the day to keep it from wilting. She was optimistic about it… but at our next session, she reported, “That poor plant never stood a chance.”
I do want to mention here that one of this client's top character strengths is creativity—so she enjoys the looking for a new idea. I'm not sure if this strength needs to be balanced out a bit or not, but it's something we're exploring.
Each attempt yielded little change in actual water intake. I was just beginning to wonder if she might be discouraged when she surprised me with a spark of something else entirely:
“I’ve never spent this long trying to form a new habit. I'm proud of myself for not giving up yet.”
She said it made a big difference that I helped her reframe each week's “lack of success” as simply discovering what doesn't work—and that there was no deadline for figuring out what does. For the first time, she saw “failure” not as the end of the road, but as a reason to go back to the drawing board and come up with something else. That shift in perspective encouraged her—and kept her interested.
What I heard was perseverance.
It wasn’t about finding the perfect strategy—it was about staying with it through all the trial and error. Her continued effort was the progress. And the new self-talk she discovered? That was the real win.
It reminded me: Confidence gets us started. Perseverance gets us home.
Yesterday, I listened for more of that gritty, persistent voice that says,
“What can I try next?”
I think that might just be the voice of real change in motion.
In today’s session, the client explored the tension between what he enjoys and what he wants to complete. His strong curiosity and interest to learn often lead the way, while certain necessary tasks fall behind. One coach offered (not verbatim): “I’m curious to understand how tasks in the past got done when your interest was elsewhere?” It opened up the conversation to explore more. As an observer, the question was so good because just maybe perseverance might have shown up in his life, even when motivation wasn’t front and center. His confidence was there and his focus felt challenged. In moments like this, I’m reminded that staying power often lives quietly beneath the surface, and asking the right questions can help bring it forward.
I asked my patients why they’re able to keep going through hard things. As I expected, some of their answers reflected their personal strengths. But what surprised me was how many of their answers were about their values: “Because I want to keep enjoying my life,” or “Because I want to keep walking on my own two feet.” I was reminded that values matter—from beginning to end.
One of my clients, a survivor of domestic violence, used to be a Zumba instructor but had stopped teaching for years due to family issues. During our first session, she was deeply depressed. But when I asked her to think of one thing that could change her mood, her eyes lit up. She said, “Singing.”
I asked her to sing to me at the beginning of our next session—and she did.
By the third session, she was walking in the park. I encouraged her to sing as if she were spreading her love to everyone around her. She did, and I found myself in tears, watching her finally taste freedom after so much suffering.
Six months later, she wrote to me. She’s now a teacher at a daycare center and a part-time Zumba instructor. She’s happy with herself.
What I learned from her journey is this: start with a deeply rooted passion. It may not come with confidence at first, but it always brings a spark of excitement. Let that be the starting point. Keep the flow going, and the confidence will return. To me, that journey is called “perseverance.”
I'm posting today (Saturday) about a conversation I had with a client yesterday.
This client has been working for over 2 months to build a consistent water-drinking habit. She’s tried everything:
– A wide variety of racking apps
– Weekly calendars to note ounces consumed
– Colorful water bottles to catch her attention
– Multiple phone alarms
– Strategically placing 12 oz. bottles of water around her house
One of the apps even had her caring for a virtual plant—she had to check in and “water” it throughout the day to keep it from wilting. She was optimistic about it… but at our next session, she reported, “That poor plant never stood a chance.”
I do want to mention here that one of this client's top character strengths is creativity—so she enjoys the looking for a new idea. I'm not sure if this strength needs to be balanced out a bit or not, but it's something we're exploring.
Each attempt yielded little change in actual water intake. I was just beginning to wonder if she might be discouraged when she surprised me with a spark of something else entirely:
“I’ve never spent this long trying to form a new habit. I'm proud of myself for not giving up yet.”
She said it made a big difference that I helped her reframe each week's “lack of success” as simply discovering what doesn't work—and that there was no deadline for figuring out what does. For the first time, she saw “failure” not as the end of the road, but as a reason to go back to the drawing board and come up with something else. That shift in perspective encouraged her—and kept her interested.
What I heard was perseverance.
It wasn’t about finding the perfect strategy—it was about staying with it through all the trial and error. Her continued effort was the progress. And the new self-talk she discovered? That was the real win.
It reminded me: Confidence gets us started. Perseverance gets us home.
Yesterday, I listened for more of that gritty, persistent voice that says,
“What can I try next?”
I think that might just be the voice of real change in motion.
In today’s session, the client explored the tension between what he enjoys and what he wants to complete. His strong curiosity and interest to learn often lead the way, while certain necessary tasks fall behind. One coach offered (not verbatim): “I’m curious to understand how tasks in the past got done when your interest was elsewhere?” It opened up the conversation to explore more. As an observer, the question was so good because just maybe perseverance might have shown up in his life, even when motivation wasn’t front and center. His confidence was there and his focus felt challenged. In moments like this, I’m reminded that staying power often lives quietly beneath the surface, and asking the right questions can help bring it forward.