DAY 27: The Second Good Ask

Ask-Offer-Ask actually has three good asks in it

Todays Prompt: DAY 27 - “What Do You Already Know About … ?”

The way we give information, or even advice-with-permission, is by doing an “Ask-Offer-Ask” (sometimes called “Elicit-Provide-Elicit”).

The first good Ask is to ask permission to offer. This is like the game Red Light - Green Light. If the client declines to hear or offer, we stop there.

The second good Ask is to find out what the client already knows about the thing you are talking about. before you offer that peice of information about it. This is a great approach, because there is a chance that they might already know about, or that they have already thought about, whatever you are about to tell them.

Does anyone else, besides me, get annoyed what someone tells you something you already know? Especially when it is as if you did not know it already or had not considered it. Ugh.

I’m sorry if I offended you
by not taking the unsolicited advice
you are trying to force down my throat.

The other thing this question does: it gives the client or loved one a chance to hear themselves think out-loud. This is a great benefit, especially as the client / loved one shares their thinking processes. You get to know them better.

Plus, if it is a good idea, it is worth 1000 Points of Change if you evoke it from them rather than provide it to them. This is the heart of MI.

So you want to stop drinking, what do you already know about this?

You are considering switching from smoking to vaping, how are you deciding that will be good for you?

You have a sense that caffeine might not be good for you, what do you already know about this?

Give it a Try

Ask the client or loved one: “What do you already know about this?”
You might get a nice surprise :)

And please tell us in the comments how it goes!

Sky

And Thank you!

100 Days of MI is free. And I’m super glad so many folks are enjoying the daily posts!
Offering you comments is free too, so please keep them coming! comment

Can you help me picture this scene with your son
As it I was watching it in a movie?

Comments from yesterdays prompt: “Don’t Forget and The Positive”

I tried to stick to the facts today. When a client started with "I didn't bring my water bottle with me one day during the week." I replied "You're saying you brought your water bottle with you 6 days?" It's hard when you flip it positive only to have the client flip it back negative. It didn't happen in this case, but it often does. Looking on the bright side comes naturally for me, so being empathetic to struggles is harder. - Christine

Yesterday in practice, a client wanted help building a consistent workout routine since the current one wasn’t working. As coach, I stayed closer to the garden and reflected (not verbatim), “Being outside and seeing others outdoors motivates you, who do you see on your way to the gym?” That opened the door. A flood of fond memories followed why the gym matters, what inspires the ride there, and what keeps it going. Keeping it positive! - Melani

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We are all in this together

Sky Kershner, LPC, ALPS, LCSW, DMin
Assistant Professor, WVU School of Medicine
MINT Certified Trainer of Motivational Interviewing
AAMFT Approved Supervisor / Member IEDTA / PACT L2
304-220-0088 / www.wv-mi.com / the mi-ai practice space