After two months of recovery from a major accident in Taiwan, my friend is finally back—and her return is nothing short of inspiring. She’s one of the most strong-willed, determined, and fiercely independent women I know. Even in the toughest times, she’s the one who powers through without ever asking for help.
But yesterday, she shared something profound with me: this unexpected accident taught her a lesson she never expected to embrace—that it's okay to be vulnerable. That strength isn’t about doing it all alone, but about knowing when to ask for support, and accepting that being human means being fragile at times.
I’m so proud of her for walking through this painful journey and emerging not just physically healed, but emotionally wiser. Growth often hides in our hardest moments, and she’s living proof that even in brokenness, there’s beauty and strength waiting to be found.
It was all worth it. She's not just back—she's transformed.
Sooooo... I haven't been participating at the level I anticipated in the beginning of this challenge. I've been reading and following as much as possible though. Recently, I've found that my staff meetings have been "stuck in a rut". At first, I just tried to muscle through, telling myself that "this is just a season" and other versions of "this too shall pass." When this (of course) didn't help, I turned to my team. I starting asking, "What are some things you'd like to see incorporated into our staff meetings?" and similar questions. And then I started implementing a few of those suggestions. I won't say that every suggestion miraculously infused our meetings with freshness, haha... but I can absolutely say that there is a refreshing going!
I’m loving this challenge - I find the daily prompts sit gently at the back of my mind throughout the day which is helping with all interactions- not just with clients. It’s helping me be very mindful. 😊
I’ve had clients who seemed distracted and scattered, or whose thoughts didn’t quite connect. It felt like they might be circling around something important—maybe even avoiding what was really on their mind. In those moments, I like asking something like:
“Would it be okay if we paused here for just a minute…
I’d like to understand a little better what you’re thinking.”
This simple question invites collaboration and honors autonomy.
This poetic pause doesn’t interrupt the conversation—
I booked a 1:1 call with Sky which is asking for guidance and his help in this wonderful practice of MI and in turn, I presented a suggestion to Sky for our 100 day challenge.
I had two appointments where we had been hitting more of a wall. I tried reflecting back the ambivalence of where they were and why they felt they couldn’t proceed without making any suggestions. In both cases it was effective to have the pt be able to make own decision.
I've been away on vacation. Today I met with a student I'm mentoring for the first time in a while. I told them I wasn't sure about the best way to pick back up. So I asked them for their help.
Hi Sky, thanks for your challenge, even just by reading the comments I learned a lot. Amazing amount of experience and help shines through the comments, thanks everyone for their contributions!
My best idea(s) for a prompt(s): Why change could be difficult? How can ambivalence so strong that people stuck between decisions - or even to articulate their choices?
Me asking! I'm applying for the MINT endorsed training of trainer of the CCMI in November. The standardized patient situation is a healthy woman who discussed her ambivalence about smoking during a consultation with her doctor. The appointment with the behavioral counselor wasn't initially scheduled, but there was an open slot, and she accepted it right after leaving her appointment. I have some ideas on how to start the interview, for example by exploring and affirming the fact that she took this opportunity. But I'm curious to know how each of you would proceed and if you have any advice more generally. Thank you in advance for your generosity.
Hi Florence, I want to reassure you that the MINT doesn’t intend to trip applicants up—the goal is to offer an experience that helps highlight your skills.
Even though my PSI was the sleep scenario, I think the same insights apply.
In preparing for my PSI, Sky offered both clear direction and a fresh perspective. The most powerful question he asked was, “What is she a customer for?” That stopped me in my tracks. It prompted me to think about whose idea this coaching appointment really was—and what, exactly, she was agreeing to.
The materials I received included nearly a full page of sleep tips, but I’m not a sleep expert--I didn’t read the list. Instead, I focused on her—on whether she even wanted this appointment, on what interested her, and on whether she was interested in the concern her doctor had raised. I reflected her engagement, made it clear she was in charge of how we used our time, and reassured her we’d talk about what mattered most to her.
I ended up having a full conversation with this client where we went way down into the weeds—really exploring the cost of the status quo then I gave as many complex reflections as I could think of to help evoke change talk. I was nervous and asked way too many questions, but the write-up I submitted afterwards smoothed that out.
The MINT does everything they can to support us—like going audio-only. They're trying to see who they can invite in, not who they can keep out. Good luck! And if you need a partner for practice, I'm here for you.
I'm not at all worried about the kindness with which the standardized patient interview will unfold. I'm confident that I'll be welcomed in the spirit of the MI.
I'm especially curious to gather ideas for starting strategies.
Thank you for sharing your experience and offering your help for practice .
I once found myself at an impasse with a client. I summarized where we were and asked: in what direction would you like to continue this conversation to make it most useful for you. It's been a wonderful collaborative experience.
Regarding your request for help: I would absolutely love to contribute to the challenge. I use this principle of regular challenges with my training participants and I have a few topics in stock.
Here are some ideas, you can tell me (and the community too) if this would suit you:
- Cultivating silence and slowing down the pace of interviews
- Reflecting emotions
- Explore past successes
- I dare to record myself and listen to myself again with kindness...
Is there anything in these topics that inspires you or does it give you other, more appropriate ideas?
To the very young client: “I can see how difficult it is for you to do this work while you are so anxious. What could we do together for you to bear that anxiety? I have some ideas but I like to hear you first”
Here's one I've been thinking about - mirroring tone, posture, energy. I have a client who talks a mile a minute, so it's challenging with her, but with other clients who have particular mannerisms, I try to match what they're bringing to the session. If someone pauses a lot and it slows her speech, I try to do something similar. If someone leans forward, I try to mirror that. By mirroring we relate more, identify more, and connect more. Hope that helps someone.
Another good reminder for "putting it on pause" is " every action does not require a reaction"
After two months of recovery from a major accident in Taiwan, my friend is finally back—and her return is nothing short of inspiring. She’s one of the most strong-willed, determined, and fiercely independent women I know. Even in the toughest times, she’s the one who powers through without ever asking for help.
But yesterday, she shared something profound with me: this unexpected accident taught her a lesson she never expected to embrace—that it's okay to be vulnerable. That strength isn’t about doing it all alone, but about knowing when to ask for support, and accepting that being human means being fragile at times.
I’m so proud of her for walking through this painful journey and emerging not just physically healed, but emotionally wiser. Growth often hides in our hardest moments, and she’s living proof that even in brokenness, there’s beauty and strength waiting to be found.
It was all worth it. She's not just back—she's transformed.
Here are some ideas for prompts:
— The Power of Pausing
— Pain Is Not Necessarily Painful
— Knowing When to Stop
Sooooo... I haven't been participating at the level I anticipated in the beginning of this challenge. I've been reading and following as much as possible though. Recently, I've found that my staff meetings have been "stuck in a rut". At first, I just tried to muscle through, telling myself that "this is just a season" and other versions of "this too shall pass." When this (of course) didn't help, I turned to my team. I starting asking, "What are some things you'd like to see incorporated into our staff meetings?" and similar questions. And then I started implementing a few of those suggestions. I won't say that every suggestion miraculously infused our meetings with freshness, haha... but I can absolutely say that there is a refreshing going!
I’m loving this challenge - I find the daily prompts sit gently at the back of my mind throughout the day which is helping with all interactions- not just with clients. It’s helping me be very mindful. 😊
I’ve had clients who seemed distracted and scattered, or whose thoughts didn’t quite connect. It felt like they might be circling around something important—maybe even avoiding what was really on their mind. In those moments, I like asking something like:
“Would it be okay if we paused here for just a minute…
I’d like to understand a little better what you’re thinking.”
This simple question invites collaboration and honors autonomy.
This poetic pause doesn’t interrupt the conversation—
it is the conversation.
I booked a 1:1 call with Sky which is asking for guidance and his help in this wonderful practice of MI and in turn, I presented a suggestion to Sky for our 100 day challenge.
I had two appointments where we had been hitting more of a wall. I tried reflecting back the ambivalence of where they were and why they felt they couldn’t proceed without making any suggestions. In both cases it was effective to have the pt be able to make own decision.
I've been away on vacation. Today I met with a student I'm mentoring for the first time in a while. I told them I wasn't sure about the best way to pick back up. So I asked them for their help.
Hi Sky, thanks for your challenge, even just by reading the comments I learned a lot. Amazing amount of experience and help shines through the comments, thanks everyone for their contributions!
My best idea(s) for a prompt(s): Why change could be difficult? How can ambivalence so strong that people stuck between decisions - or even to articulate their choices?
Hi Janos! If you would like to write this up a bit more, I would love to add it! Sky
Thanks Sky, happy to do that. I'll drop you an email.
Me asking! I'm applying for the MINT endorsed training of trainer of the CCMI in November. The standardized patient situation is a healthy woman who discussed her ambivalence about smoking during a consultation with her doctor. The appointment with the behavioral counselor wasn't initially scheduled, but there was an open slot, and she accepted it right after leaving her appointment. I have some ideas on how to start the interview, for example by exploring and affirming the fact that she took this opportunity. But I'm curious to know how each of you would proceed and if you have any advice more generally. Thank you in advance for your generosity.
Hi Florence, I want to reassure you that the MINT doesn’t intend to trip applicants up—the goal is to offer an experience that helps highlight your skills.
Even though my PSI was the sleep scenario, I think the same insights apply.
In preparing for my PSI, Sky offered both clear direction and a fresh perspective. The most powerful question he asked was, “What is she a customer for?” That stopped me in my tracks. It prompted me to think about whose idea this coaching appointment really was—and what, exactly, she was agreeing to.
The materials I received included nearly a full page of sleep tips, but I’m not a sleep expert--I didn’t read the list. Instead, I focused on her—on whether she even wanted this appointment, on what interested her, and on whether she was interested in the concern her doctor had raised. I reflected her engagement, made it clear she was in charge of how we used our time, and reassured her we’d talk about what mattered most to her.
I ended up having a full conversation with this client where we went way down into the weeds—really exploring the cost of the status quo then I gave as many complex reflections as I could think of to help evoke change talk. I was nervous and asked way too many questions, but the write-up I submitted afterwards smoothed that out.
The MINT does everything they can to support us—like going audio-only. They're trying to see who they can invite in, not who they can keep out. Good luck! And if you need a partner for practice, I'm here for you.
Hello Carol.
I'm not at all worried about the kindness with which the standardized patient interview will unfold. I'm confident that I'll be welcomed in the spirit of the MI.
I'm especially curious to gather ideas for starting strategies.
Thank you for sharing your experience and offering your help for practice .
Hello Sky. Thank you for today's topic.
I once found myself at an impasse with a client. I summarized where we were and asked: in what direction would you like to continue this conversation to make it most useful for you. It's been a wonderful collaborative experience.
Regarding your request for help: I would absolutely love to contribute to the challenge. I use this principle of regular challenges with my training participants and I have a few topics in stock.
Here are some ideas, you can tell me (and the community too) if this would suit you:
- Cultivating silence and slowing down the pace of interviews
- Reflecting emotions
- Explore past successes
- I dare to record myself and listen to myself again with kindness...
Is there anything in these topics that inspires you or does it give you other, more appropriate ideas?
Florence
I love them all! Please write one of them up and send to me. Let's do them all!!!!
Thank you Florence! - Sky. skershner@gmail.com
To the very young client: “I can see how difficult it is for you to do this work while you are so anxious. What could we do together for you to bear that anxiety? I have some ideas but I like to hear you first”
Here's one I've been thinking about - mirroring tone, posture, energy. I have a client who talks a mile a minute, so it's challenging with her, but with other clients who have particular mannerisms, I try to match what they're bringing to the session. If someone pauses a lot and it slows her speech, I try to do something similar. If someone leans forward, I try to mirror that. By mirroring we relate more, identify more, and connect more. Hope that helps someone.