DAY 23: Put in a Pause
Put in a pause between your reflection and the next question
I want to thank all those who sent me guest prompts in response to my request
Todays prompt is from Kimberly Williams
Todays Prompt: DAY 23 - Put in a Pause
Kimberly Williams
When I think about silence, I remember that it was one of the therapeutic communication skills taught to nurses in our short psych rotation in nursing school. What strikes me is that it is therapeutic.
When used in combination with MI skills, especially with reflections; the golden moment of silence gives space for the person to process what was being said and respond. Allowing you the "listener" to hear perhaps more than the person would have. A moment of silence is like a gift for that person.
Kimberly
Thanks for that great prompt idea, Kimberly!
As we move from Question - Question - Question
to Reflection/Question - Reflection/Question - Reflection/Question
to Reflection/Pause/Question - Reflection/Pause/Question - Reflection/Pause/Question
We might find our Pauses get longer,
And then the client starts to fill in that space
with something much better than we were about to ask!
Todays Prompt: Put in a Pause
And please let us know how it goes!
Sky
We might find our Pauses get longer,
And then the client starts to fill in that space
with something much better than we were about to ask!
And thank you!
100 Days of MI is free. And I’m super glad so many folks are enjoying the daily posts!
Offering you comments is free too, so please keep them coming! comment
Comments from yesterdays prompt: “Rest”
Sundays in the kitchen with my grandmother were filled with peeling, chopping, measuring, stirring, kneading, pouring, shaping. After she’d cover dough to rise, lid a pot to simmer, or slide a roasting pan into the oven, we’d settle in. …
They were moments of rest while our recipes took their time—flavors slowly melding, settling into themselves before offering up mouthwatering aromas and yummy sustenance.
Quiet alchemy born of rest, patience and time. - Carol
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We are all in this together
Sky Kershner, LPC, ALPS, LCSW, DMin
Assistant Professor, WVU School of Medicine
MINT Certified Trainer of Motivational Interviewing
AAMFT Approved Supervisor / Member IEDTA / PACT L2
304-220-0088 / www.wv-mi.com / the mi-ai practice space
I’m a talker—probably always will be. I can keep going long after the eyes around me have glazed over. But learning MI has been a game changer—it’s teaching me when to temper that part of myself.
Now, I love the pause.
A well-timed pause after a reflection gives clients space to breathe, absorb, and think before speaking. I’ve had clients say, “I’ve never thought about it like that.”
Their insights come from their own inner wisdom—surfacing when I stop filling the silence. Making time for a pause might be the greatest gift I offer.
As a Brainspotting practitioner, we were taught to frequently consider the acronym WAIT: Why am I talking? It's so easy to fill space within sessions and conversations, but how often do we assess whether each word is enriching the conversation (and the client's process) versus just filling space and time. I'm often pleasantly surprised by what follows when I just sit quietly for a bit and let the client's thoughts and emotions bubble to the surface. Thanks for the reminder!