I was able to share positive reflection to a coworker that had feelings of doubt. I listened carefully and shared the positive feedback on the things she had achieved, she felt better and was more productive, I made the commitment to strive every day to work on this. Thank you for this opportunity
I am posting late but I am enjoying this experiment. Both on day 1 and 2, different times popped up and I felt it was a good time to “do the experiment.” Yesterday I was in a conversation with someone that was having a bad day. Reflections helped the person feel understood. I am thankful for this place to be more intentional and to be able to read everyone’s comments!
I had plenty of chances to use this in five calls -- nice to see it's become ingrained in what I do - but as soon as I took my coaching hat off I reverted to "woe is me" internal reflections with my husband and forgot all about the number one skill: LISTENING TO THE OTHER PERSON. Clearly I have lots of work to do to make MI carry over into ALL areas of my life and not just coaching.
Within five calls, reflections came to you naturally and with ease as coach. You also noticed outside of coaching that more practice is necessary with your husband and in all the areas of your life.
I’ve been thoroughly enjoying this challenge. My day was packed with back-to-back calls—each one offering opportunities for reflection, complex reflections, and all the other MI skills, which I felt went quite well.
But just as my workday was wrapping up, things took a turn: my son decided to test his boundaries. In that split second, it was as if my brain completely forgot that MI even exists!
In addition to what Carol said, you're also showing lots of self-compassion.
Able to be mindful (i.e. "My skills slipped a bit.", to understand the common humanity (i.e. "Anyone could have let their skills slip under a similar situation."), and practice self-kindness.
Fannie, I love your entry—it’s such a great example of how self-awareness is progress in itself. There was a time, not so long ago, when you might not have even noticed that shift, let alone named it with humor and insight. Today, you recognized it. That’s MI growth in action. Kudos to you!
Well I had a day off work today and the only person I’ve seen was my son who popped in. We were chatting and I remembered the two reflections which I thought I did well and was met with “mum, are you feeling ok”?!!!
Even though I felt a bit anxious before today’s meeting—especially after missing a week of MI practice—I reminded myself with some MI self-empathy and affirmation: “This won’t be as hard as my Krav Maga practice!” 😅 Joined with that mindset, I not only enjoyed a great practice but also walked away with new insights. Sometimes, just showing up and believing in yourself makes all the difference.
Today I had an appointment with a person who wanted a quote for an animal-assisted intervention for elderly people who live in shared accommodation. She is herself a facilitator for these people and is looking for different activities. She is new to this position, so I was able to discuss with her with curiosity about taking up her position and make several reflections at a raw, in particular on her values in the context of this new job for her as well as the joy and excitement she felt about being in a new project where she could learn new things every day and build new things every day, which is very important to her.
Today I had a dedicated MI practice conversation and had the chance to practice various things (including multiple reflections in a row). It was a fun conversation - one in which I had no idea about the topic going in. Which is part of what made it fun :)
Today is off to an amazing start! (I'm killing it 🤗). My supervisee commented - "you really get me today". Showed up with good reflections in first two sessions today -
I sometimes drink Yogi tea. The paper on the end of the string attached to the tea bag always has a wise saying printed on it. Today’s: “The one who listens understands.” Even my tea is MI compliant.
Wow! I'm really enjoying this! And I ran out of time because I was getting into the writing so much! I went back to add a further thought about the advanced reflection example. My fruther thought is at. the end f this comment. Yes, to give a good reflection is to empty yourself a bit. And at the same time, I don't want to encourage anyone to be a doormat. Here it is:
She: “I’m sorry I’m late”
Me, maybe: “You feel badly, you wanted to be here sooner.”
She: “Yes, I know how important this is to you.”
Me, maybe: “You know how this is a big deal for me”
She: “Thanks for not being mad at you.”
Me, maybe: “You feel grateful I’m staying calm.”
(“Me, maybe” is me at my empathic best.)
And please note, after giving empathy, I now have some space to share my personal disappointment, or use my hurt/anger to think about setting a boundary.
@Sky I figured it out. Click “Everyday MI” at the top pf the page, and click “archive” and the prior days’ posts appear. (Just in case anyone else has the same question.)
Today my intention is to meet others with an open heart—trusting that who they are, in this moment, is enough. I will pause, listen deeply, and allow acceptance to lead the way.
Today, I honored my intention by responding with care and clarity in a challenging situation.
I had arranged a Zoom meeting for what would have been a difficult conversation. The other person canceled our meeting and stated unequivocally that they would not engage with me one-on-one. I respected their decision without explanation.
With email as the only remaining path, I chose to express myself in a way that aligned with honesty and the spirit of MI. I shared what I observed and experienced without blame. I acknowledged their autonomy and affirmed their decisions, even though I didn’t agree with or understand them. In this moment, I trusted that who this person is is enough—and I let that guide my tone while still honoring my own boundaries.
It took hours and many rewrites to get there. I paused, listened deeply to myself and to what the situation called for, and allowed acceptance to lead the way forward.
I showed up with openness, respect, and a steady voice. This is hard work! I may settle for simple reflections tomorrow. 🤭
I was able to share positive reflection to a coworker that had feelings of doubt. I listened carefully and shared the positive feedback on the things she had achieved, she felt better and was more productive, I made the commitment to strive every day to work on this. Thank you for this opportunity
I am posting late but I am enjoying this experiment. Both on day 1 and 2, different times popped up and I felt it was a good time to “do the experiment.” Yesterday I was in a conversation with someone that was having a bad day. Reflections helped the person feel understood. I am thankful for this place to be more intentional and to be able to read everyone’s comments!
I had plenty of chances to use this in five calls -- nice to see it's become ingrained in what I do - but as soon as I took my coaching hat off I reverted to "woe is me" internal reflections with my husband and forgot all about the number one skill: LISTENING TO THE OTHER PERSON. Clearly I have lots of work to do to make MI carry over into ALL areas of my life and not just coaching.
Within five calls, reflections came to you naturally and with ease as coach. You also noticed outside of coaching that more practice is necessary with your husband and in all the areas of your life.
I’ve been thoroughly enjoying this challenge. My day was packed with back-to-back calls—each one offering opportunities for reflection, complex reflections, and all the other MI skills, which I felt went quite well.
But just as my workday was wrapping up, things took a turn: my son decided to test his boundaries. In that split second, it was as if my brain completely forgot that MI even exists!
Tomorrow is a new day. :)
In addition to what Carol said, you're also showing lots of self-compassion.
Able to be mindful (i.e. "My skills slipped a bit.", to understand the common humanity (i.e. "Anyone could have let their skills slip under a similar situation."), and practice self-kindness.
Thank you Jay
Fannie, I love your entry—it’s such a great example of how self-awareness is progress in itself. There was a time, not so long ago, when you might not have even noticed that shift, let alone named it with humor and insight. Today, you recognized it. That’s MI growth in action. Kudos to you!
Thank you Carol
Well I had a day off work today and the only person I’ve seen was my son who popped in. We were chatting and I remembered the two reflections which I thought I did well and was met with “mum, are you feeling ok”?!!!
Even though I felt a bit anxious before today’s meeting—especially after missing a week of MI practice—I reminded myself with some MI self-empathy and affirmation: “This won’t be as hard as my Krav Maga practice!” 😅 Joined with that mindset, I not only enjoyed a great practice but also walked away with new insights. Sometimes, just showing up and believing in yourself makes all the difference.
You felt the discomfort and chose to lean into it anyway. And you benefitted as a result.
"This won't be as hard as my Krav Maga practice" what a great mindset that opened an opportunity for you to walk away with new insights :)
Today I had an appointment with a person who wanted a quote for an animal-assisted intervention for elderly people who live in shared accommodation. She is herself a facilitator for these people and is looking for different activities. She is new to this position, so I was able to discuss with her with curiosity about taking up her position and make several reflections at a raw, in particular on her values in the context of this new job for her as well as the joy and excitement she felt about being in a new project where she could learn new things every day and build new things every day, which is very important to her.
Today I had a dedicated MI practice conversation and had the chance to practice various things (including multiple reflections in a row). It was a fun conversation - one in which I had no idea about the topic going in. Which is part of what made it fun :)
You enjoyed practicing MI in a fun and productive way 😊
Yes! Having fun conversations is important. I also like the heavier, more emotional ones too -- and all in between. :)
Today is off to an amazing start! (I'm killing it 🤗). My supervisee commented - "you really get me today". Showed up with good reflections in first two sessions today -
Your supervisor can really trust you and your skills which made for an awesome day!
I sometimes drink Yogi tea. The paper on the end of the string attached to the tea bag always has a wise saying printed on it. Today’s: “The one who listens understands.” Even my tea is MI compliant.
You enjoy a cup of tea that not only tastes good it also has deep thoughts 😊. Sounds delightful.
Wow! I'm really enjoying this! And I ran out of time because I was getting into the writing so much! I went back to add a further thought about the advanced reflection example. My fruther thought is at. the end f this comment. Yes, to give a good reflection is to empty yourself a bit. And at the same time, I don't want to encourage anyone to be a doormat. Here it is:
She: “I’m sorry I’m late”
Me, maybe: “You feel badly, you wanted to be here sooner.”
She: “Yes, I know how important this is to you.”
Me, maybe: “You know how this is a big deal for me”
She: “Thanks for not being mad at you.”
Me, maybe: “You feel grateful I’m staying calm.”
(“Me, maybe” is me at my empathic best.)
And please note, after giving empathy, I now have some space to share my personal disappointment, or use my hurt/anger to think about setting a boundary.
@Sky how do I see the previous days’ blog posts and comments?
https://everydaymi.substack.com/
@Sky I figured it out. Click “Everyday MI” at the top pf the page, and click “archive” and the prior days’ posts appear. (Just in case anyone else has the same question.)
Today my intention is to meet others with an open heart—trusting that who they are, in this moment, is enough. I will pause, listen deeply, and allow acceptance to lead the way.
Setting your awareness to be warm and inviting so others can feel safe to be authentically themselves.
Yes, please give us an example of how it turns out!
Today, I honored my intention by responding with care and clarity in a challenging situation.
I had arranged a Zoom meeting for what would have been a difficult conversation. The other person canceled our meeting and stated unequivocally that they would not engage with me one-on-one. I respected their decision without explanation.
With email as the only remaining path, I chose to express myself in a way that aligned with honesty and the spirit of MI. I shared what I observed and experienced without blame. I acknowledged their autonomy and affirmed their decisions, even though I didn’t agree with or understand them. In this moment, I trusted that who this person is is enough—and I let that guide my tone while still honoring my own boundaries.
It took hours and many rewrites to get there. I paused, listened deeply to myself and to what the situation called for, and allowed acceptance to lead the way forward.
I showed up with openness, respect, and a steady voice. This is hard work! I may settle for simple reflections tomorrow. 🤭
I love this Carol.