Great post. This post reminds me about the importance of person first language when talking about others and yourself. Clients may hear people use derogatory labels or label themselves that way and feel stigmatized and shame. This could deter seeking help or desire to change. On the other hand, I have had clients tell me such labels are helpful to them, such as fostering identity in a support group like AA or NA they go to or serving as a reminder of what they have experienced in the past and could lose in the present. I imagine perception and sense of empowerment versus oppression play a role here. I fully believe person first language usually fosters a growth mindset though.
Today’s prompt led me to reflect on how easily we attach labels to ourselves—how we take them as truth and wear them as identity, as if they were permanent and unremovable.
Years of being a pen pal with death row inmates have taught me to see people from a more integral perspective—to look beyond the label of “bad” or “criminal.” Many of my pen pals on death row are survivors of profound childhood trauma. When the layers of self-imposed labels begin to peel away, their Buddha nature—the inherent goodness and potential within—starts to surface.
So often, they define themselves entirely by the crimes they committed, seeing no other identity beyond that. These labels become cages that keep them trapped in a loop of darkness and helplessness, convincing them they are unworthy of light or anything good. But that belief is not the truth.
It’s vital for all of us to cultivate the self-awareness to notice these labels and recognize our power to remove them. We are not the stories we’ve been told—or the ones we tell ourselves. Beneath every label lies a deeper, more whole essence waiting to be seen.
I think about how my identity as a mother will shift in the next decade. At this point, I am “survival mom,” providing substance and safety for my children. Starting in a few short years, one by one, my little birdies will leave the nest (hopefully) and my role will become something different. I am intentional now to have other things I “do” so that loss (or freedom) won’t be so jarring. I feel that I’ll forever identify as a mom but my everyday actions change over time.
Great post. This post reminds me about the importance of person first language when talking about others and yourself. Clients may hear people use derogatory labels or label themselves that way and feel stigmatized and shame. This could deter seeking help or desire to change. On the other hand, I have had clients tell me such labels are helpful to them, such as fostering identity in a support group like AA or NA they go to or serving as a reminder of what they have experienced in the past and could lose in the present. I imagine perception and sense of empowerment versus oppression play a role here. I fully believe person first language usually fosters a growth mindset though.
Today’s prompt led me to reflect on how easily we attach labels to ourselves—how we take them as truth and wear them as identity, as if they were permanent and unremovable.
Years of being a pen pal with death row inmates have taught me to see people from a more integral perspective—to look beyond the label of “bad” or “criminal.” Many of my pen pals on death row are survivors of profound childhood trauma. When the layers of self-imposed labels begin to peel away, their Buddha nature—the inherent goodness and potential within—starts to surface.
So often, they define themselves entirely by the crimes they committed, seeing no other identity beyond that. These labels become cages that keep them trapped in a loop of darkness and helplessness, convincing them they are unworthy of light or anything good. But that belief is not the truth.
It’s vital for all of us to cultivate the self-awareness to notice these labels and recognize our power to remove them. We are not the stories we’ve been told—or the ones we tell ourselves. Beneath every label lies a deeper, more whole essence waiting to be seen.
I think about how my identity as a mother will shift in the next decade. At this point, I am “survival mom,” providing substance and safety for my children. Starting in a few short years, one by one, my little birdies will leave the nest (hopefully) and my role will become something different. I am intentional now to have other things I “do” so that loss (or freedom) won’t be so jarring. I feel that I’ll forever identify as a mom but my everyday actions change over time.