The Margins Around the Session

My time management can be like an overflowing closet.

MI Snack - Wed June 10, 11am EDT
From Doing to Being:
Mindfulness and Centering for MI Conversations
with MINT Member Carol Sullivan
Reserve your spot (and get the new zoom link)

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Day 200+ 77: The Margin Around the Session

Carol Sullivan is doing the MI Snack this Wednesday on Mindfulness and Centering in MI Conversations.

Those might seem like disconnected ideas, mindfulness over here and MI over there. But Acceptance, one of the four parts of the MI spirit, includes being in a receptive state. Taking the other person, and the present moment, as they are.

So what kind of head space do we need to get into to take that position with the person we’re listening to?

Does taking a few breaths helps? Does stepping outside between sessions helps?

I think it might. And I think it’s also so easy to skip.

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In MI we usually talk about Acceptance like it’s a value. Something I believe in, something I choose. And it is.

And we can also think of it as a capacity, a capacity that can run low.

You know the old recovery checklist, HALT. Hungry, angry, lonely, tired. We hand it to clients pretty frequently.

Well, I’ve started turning it back on myself. When I’ve gone from session to session with no lunch and no air, my patience thins out. I get a little clipped. Not because I stopped believing in meeting someone where they are, but because I didn’t have it in me right then.

The value was intact. The tank was empty.

And HALT comes for both directions. When I’m depleted, I lose the generosity I’d offer the person in front of me, and I lose it for myself too. Accept the client as they are. Accept myself as I am. Both get harder when I’m running on fumes.

Not too long ago I was living this. I was torn between keeping people scheduled regularly, without too weeks in between our sessions, and actually having a not too busy day, so I had the capacity to be fully present once they sat down. It wasn’t best practice, and it wasn’t sustainable.

A friend told me they wanted more margins in the day. More space between sessions. I loved that. I started building my schedule around it, blocks of time with a little room on either side. What a luxury, to not be rushing from one session to the next.

Though maybe it isn’t a luxury. On a page, the margin is what makes the words readable. It isn’t wasted space. It’s what gives the text room to land. I’m starting to think the margin around a session does the same thing. It’s part of the session. It’s what lets the person actually arrive. And me too.

I’m still building this habit. Some weeks the old pull to fit everyone in comes right back. But I’m paying attention to it now in a way I wasn’t before.

I saw a time management thing once that said if setting up your schedule was like putting things in a closet, you would know when it was too full. When you were trying to cram so much in, you can’t even close the door. I need to keep this image in mind.

Your Turn

Where in your week do you have a little margin, and where have you let it close up? If you’ve made positive changes here, how come?

When you notice your own acceptance running low, what’s usually underneath it? Hungry, angry, lonely, tired, or something else?

What would one more space in your day make room for?

Wishing you a little margin this week,

Sky

Today’s Free 3-Minute Daily Empathy Drill
Joe wants to meditate, but he get’s so bored
The Daily Empathy Drill

MI Intermediate - This Friday, June 12, 2026

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We are all in this together

Sky Kershner, LPC, ALPS, LCSW, DMin
Assistant Professor, WVU School of Medicine
MINT Certified Trainer of Motivational Interviewing
AAMFT Approved Supervisor / Member IEDTA / PACT L2
304-220-0088 / www.wv-mi.com / the mi-ai practice space