"How did you know?"

"Unveiling Inner Treasures:
The Power of Affirmations in Discovering Values and Strengths"

Affirmations are tricky and are wonderful things. 

In my last post I encouraged developing a vocabulary of values words. Here is an even better version of basic human values than the one I shared earlier. It comes from my friend Bob Jope, who is an MI Coder and MINT Trainer in Vermont. Click here for the values sheet.

Another friend, Kenzie Leffingwell, who is the Director of Training and Development at First Choice (way to go Kenzie!), and is on track to becoming a MINT Trainer herself, sent me this in response to the last post.

Thank you, Sky! I have enjoyed learning more about affirmations over the past couple weeks. I have learned that many people don't know right off what they value outside of people they care about. When I asked participants, they always need several minutes to think about it. Even then, we have to dig a little deeper. For example, I asked a helper recently what he values and the conversation went like this: 

Me: What do you value? 

CC: My car.

Me: Your car. What do you value about your car?

CC: It's new; I have never had a new car. 

Me: It is important to you that it's new. Tell me more.

CC: It's new and I paid for it myself with money I earned myself. 

Me: Having something nice to show for your hard work is important to you.

CC: Yes, It is because I never thought I would be able to get a new car myself, but I did, and at a young age. 

Me: You value your work ethic and independence. 

CC: YES! How did you know? 

I have learned that affirming thoughts, values, ideas, etc. is different than affirming the person.  

I love that response from the person, "How did you know?" 

Sometimes we don't really hear ourselves until it is reflected back! And when we are reflecting back the person's strengths and values, it lands soooo well!

Well, most of the time …

Next steps

If you want to get good with the vocabulary of strengths and values I would encourage you to read over the sheet everyday for a week (apologies for the unsolicited advice, I don't know who to do an ask-offer-ask in an email!). :) 

How does that sound to you?

Maybe try it and see how it goes, 

And please let me know. :) 

Sky

PS
Our next MI Practice sessions will be devoted to practicing Affirmations in our conversations.

And you are welcome to join in.

We meet every Monday and Friday at 9am EST.
No need to register, just show up.
Here’s the link

Want more info on how we do these sessions? click here
Or send me an email with your question.

Wishing you a great day!

Sky

PPS - If you would like to join in a project I'm doing with writing affirmations to folks in Charleston, WV, who are suffering with IV drug use, addiction, homelessness, hepatitis c, and hiv, check this out.