Doing the Cha-Cha
Day 200+ 84: Sometimes we wrestle, sometimes we dance.
The MI Snack - Wed, July 1, 11am EDT
Giving Advice and the Four MI Tasks - with Sky
Reserve your spot (and get the zoom link)
I was at an MI workshop yesterday with the folks at Med-MI. The topic was working with ‘misinformation’ in medically oriented conversations.
When we got to vaccines, something in the room shifted. Some people found the word “misinformation” triggering. And it raised a real question worth sitting with: is a person’s own experience with a vaccine “misinformation”?
I don’t think it is. If someone tells you they got the shot and felt awful for three days, and never fully recovered, that’s what is true for them. The moment we file a lived experience under “misinformation,” we have told a person their own life and lived experience is wrong and it needs to be corrected. No wonder it stings.
And then, on the other side, were folks who were watching vacine and health decisions being made that really scared them for the future health of their community. They saw this car speedy down the road and they just wanted to get out in front of it and wave their arms and yell, “Wait, Stop, The bridge is out!”
Gradually the discussion started shifting towards something that felt a little better. About creating safety in the conversation.
About accepting someone else’s worldview as true for them.
About finding some neutral place to stand together, instead of across the table looking down.
And that is when someone said, “You know what this is? We need more Cha-Cha.”
Huh? Cha-Cha?
”You know: Compassion - Humility - Acceptance.”
Mind blown.
Now, I happen to know a little about the Cha-Cha. Growing up on the Main Line outside Philadelphia, my dance partner and I were once crowned first place in the regional Cha-Cha competition. We were 13. I wish I still had the photo. I definitely do not still have the trophy.
And the key to our win?
We were the only couple on the floor who started on the very first beat of the song. In a room full of young couples standing there waiting to get the beat, that one thing drew the judges’ eyes and set us apart from everybody else. Big trophy. Exciting times.
So what does that have to do with MI?
What makes for a skilled helper in a potentilly hard conversation is starting out the compassion and empathy on the very first beat.
Not waiting for the “wrong” belief so we can pounce and correct it.
Leading with Compassion - Humility - Acceptance from the opening moment, before the righting reflex ever gets to fire.
Compassion - I am here for your good, not to win a point.
Humility - We are all in the same boat, doing the best we can, with no one of us having all of the information.
Acceptance - I can honor your worldview as true for you, even when I see it differently.
Sometimes we might just stand there waiting to catch the beat.
At our best, the skilled helper enters with the Cha-Cha intention right from the start.
At our best, we enter already dancing.
Give it a try: The 3-Minute Drill
Bring your best Cha-Cha to a potentially challenging conversation about vaccinations. Try today’s Daily Drill
Wishing you a Cha-Cha kind of day!
Sky
P.S. - Want to go deeper? Tomorrow’s free MI Snack is on Giving Advice and the Four Tasks. And if you’ve got the Basics down, MI Advanced runs Friday, July 10. More info here.
My favorite Cha-Cha video
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Questions? Feel free to email me at skykershner@gmail.com.
Sky Kershner, LPC, LCSW, DMin
Assistant Professor, WVU School of Medicine and Lover of Stray Dogs
MINT Certified Trainer of Motivational Interviewing
AAMFT Approved Supervisor / Member IEDTA / PACT L2
304-220-0088 / www.wv-mi.com / the mi-ai practice space
