I used to believe that using “but” to highlight contrast would make my conversations more impactful. Over time, I realized I was mistaken. True impact doesn’t come from strong words alone—instead, a simple, neutral word like “and” can build a deeper connection and honor ambivalence, as I’ve learned through Motivational Interviewing.
I love a good double-sided reflection. When change talk begins to outweigh sustain talk, I like to offer one as a way to soften the sustain talk. When my client is leaning into change, I often notice their response carries a calmer, more settled, and more content tone. But if I’ve misread the moment and there’s still a small thread of hesitation, they may keep talking about change, yet that calm, settled tone is missing.
I used to believe that using “but” to highlight contrast would make my conversations more impactful. Over time, I realized I was mistaken. True impact doesn’t come from strong words alone—instead, a simple, neutral word like “and” can build a deeper connection and honor ambivalence, as I’ve learned through Motivational Interviewing.
Double sided reflections I feel really help the other person know that you understand the pull and difficulty they are feeling.
Theres a piece of you that wants to take care of yourself and there’s another piece of you that cares for others more than yourself.
I love a good double-sided reflection. When change talk begins to outweigh sustain talk, I like to offer one as a way to soften the sustain talk. When my client is leaning into change, I often notice their response carries a calmer, more settled, and more content tone. But if I’ve misread the moment and there’s still a small thread of hesitation, they may keep talking about change, yet that calm, settled tone is missing.